The murder of a 12-year-old schoolgirl’s father over a school chat fight came as a shock to everyone. Meanwhile, serious conflicts and even adult fights over disagreements over educational moments on social networks are increasing. Many parents have noted that chat rooms have become much more heated amid the pandemic and distance learning. At the same time, virtual conflicts often began to turn into a real plane. What is the reason for the parents’ aggression and how dangerous it is to express one’s opinion in school “talk”, we found out from the experts.
Lately, verbal battles in parental chats are increasingly turning into fistfights. Just a month ago, a resident of Naberezhnye Chelny severely beat her mother from the parent committee for excluding her from the general class correspondence. And now it came to murder …
– The tragedy that happened in Volgograd can repeat itself at any moment in some other school, – says Ekaterina, mother of the 7th grade student. – A sharp increase in tension in our classroom chat began to occur in April after the children were transferred to telecommuting. The first serious disputes began precisely because of the number of assignments that teachers sent to children and the time allotted for their completion. Then it all ended in a marketplace swearing between a mother from the parent committee, who zealously defended the teachers, and several parents. Due to the regime of self-isolation, no one sought personal meetings. The real nightmare began in September. The reason for the next squabble was the fact that our children were allocated the smallest class for education. A number of parents, after the director refused to change the office, wrote a complaint to higher authorities. This infuriated our initiative mother from the Rodkom. After being abused in the chat, the lady initiated an informal meeting on the street, which ended in a fight between the activist’s husband and another dad. The rest of the parents were barely able to pull them apart. In order not to spoil the life of the children, the situation was hushed up, the police did not get it, but the atmosphere in the class is very tense, many prefer not to write anything else in the chat.
Adults note that the greatest disagreements and even scandals in recent years have been raised by questions regarding the wishes for organizing study at a distance, including the volume of homework, fundraising for gifts to teachers, as well as the analysis of certain conflicts between children.
“Recently, parents have increasingly begun to intervene in children’s conflicts where it is not needed,” says Natalya, who is raising the son of a 4th grade student. – Previously, this was at least solved relatively peacefully in personal correspondence between mothers, but now women have begun to involve their husbands in conflicts and arrange showdowns in a general chat. Two weeks ago, a real tantrum in the chat was arranged by one of the dads, whose son complained that two of our boys called him names. This father just demanded a personal meeting with the parents of the offenders and spoke about their children in very offensive terms. Our teacher was connected to the chat, but it did not bother him at all. Fortunately, the teacher had the wisdom to extinguish the conflict and organize the conversation of adults within the walls of the school. I don’t know how it could have ended if they had gone to sort things out on the street.
According to psychologist Nikolai Pikalov, parental chats, and indeed social networks as a virtual mirror, reflect what is happening in society:
– Every year in our country, the level of people’s aggression is growing, in fact, in one way or another, everyone hates everyone. People have already developed a model of behavior, which consists in the constant expectation of a catch from others, distrust, a desire to pounce on the enemy before he attacks first. In the subway or on the street now it’s even scary to make a remark to someone, it’s good if they just send them to my mother, but they can kick them in the head. Realizing this anger of others, most of us in real life think about our statements and their possible consequences. On social media, many people are not so careful because they do not expect serious consequences for virtual insults. Meanwhile, as aggression grows, it spreads to all areas of our lives. As a result, virtual skirmishes turn into real life, become truly dangerous for the participants. Inevitably, the number of such incidents will only grow in the near future. Accordingly, the only way to guarantee yourself and your child’s protection from aggression is to always keep neutrality, if possible, use school chats for information, and not disputes and clarification of relationships. And in case of a serious conflict due to educational issues or quarrels between children, solve it with the involvement of the school administration.