Castaway KVN: flat jokes, no game

I'm not laughing

I guess I have a bad sense of humor. Or am I taking him too seriously – one of two things. But I don’t understand … I don’t understand why they laugh like that on KVN, laugh, laugh. They are not spectators at all, they are in demand. But the jury …

I'm not laughing

Respected people with increased social responsibility are sitting. Nagiyev is sitting, Pelageya, Konstantin Ernst, Guzman … Look at them – they are happy. The eyes shine, the mouth does not close, and all 33 teeth … They are so inspired, as if they had just visited Serov’s exhibition on their louboutins. They get up one by one and praise, praise this KVN.

And I’m not funny. So I’m in trouble? Why are you laughing? These flat jokes, this bad game, with very few exceptions.

The president of KVN, Alexander Vasilyevich Maslyakov, told me so: “What time – such jokes.” Absolutely right. According to the current KVN, you can tell exactly what time it is outside. A censored time, a time “no matter what happens,” a time not for the cheerful and resourceful, but for the cowardly and shy of any real acuteness, the time of extraordinary simplicity, which is worse known than what. And they all laugh.

I have something to compare with. I remember KVN during perestroika and the team of the city of Odessa, and the city of Novosibirsk, and Donetsk and Dnepropetrovsk, I remember well. They were joking there about the policy of Comrade Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev … And they were joking, you say? Yes, we were joking.

Now I watch on the Internet brilliant jokes from the presidential candidate of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky and his friends. This is joke, this is humor! Murderous jokes over the entire current political elite of Independence. They do not leave a wet place there, they beat them on the forehead, then on the forehead, revealing all the “cracks” of these porosionok-tymoshenko-lyashko-klitschko … That’s our way!

But we do not know how, we have forgotten how. And humor without politics is like a man without … dignity. Our KVN humor is so kind-kind, affectionate-affectionate, yes, and without those eggs. It is neither cold nor hot and not scary at all, that is, absolutely. On friendship come to KVN the mayor, the prime minister, or even himself … And everyone laughs so kindly. Above oneself? Well, I do not.

A real free humorist (we don’t have any more like that) must be ruthless to the authorities, must tear it to shreds, but talentedly. And the authorities should watch this and tremble and be afraid and laugh at themselves.

But not with us. We have those who are up there, more than anything in the world are afraid to be funny. After all, if you are ridiculous, then you are no longer a tenant as a politician. Brezhnev was ridiculous, then Chernenko, then Gorbachev, then Yeltsin – and it all ended badly. And now the power is so serious, very serious, great, great. And only one person can really joke with us. But this is very funny in fact.

Saint Slutsky

No, Pyotr Tolstoy is not at all the hero of my novel. I turned on his program at the very end and saw in the studio … Such a big, textured, handsome uncle, speaks so confidently, just burns the hearts of people with a verb. And who is it? Yes Leonid Slutsky himself!

Photo: AGN “Moscow”

He was banned. He’s not shaking hands. The so-called public opinion made Mr. Slutsk a scapegoat … Yes, just a goat … And here again the terrible word “harassment” appears, in the sense of sexual harassment.

This Slutsky molested journalists in his Duma office. Right away by three! No, one by one. Yes, he is practically Weinstein, a bunny-eared bunny, hands-on and bawdy. And that means, as Saint America points out to us – here he is! Slutsky was no longer quoted in the press, shown on TV, and simply called. No man, no problem. And there is no harassment either.

But we are not in America, my dear. Colleague Tolstoy tore the veil from his eyes, removed the prohibitions and invited a respected person to his program. Indeed, he did not kill anyone, did not drink tea in the city of London with subsequent poisoning, like his other colleague in the Duma. Slutsky just loves women, that’s all. Yes, I touched the knee or even higher … But who did not touch, name it!

Thus, Tolstoy, the conscience of the nation, a deeply religious deputy and TV presenter, tells us: “Love your enemies. Guys, Slutsky is also a man, and like all normal deputies, he also wants to shine in the box. So let us give him, the lamb, this sacred opportunity. ” Amen.

Music is life

What is music? After talking with the composer Dashkevich, I think about it all the time. Music that can uplift, inspire a weak little person to a feat; music that can humiliate, lower a worthy person to the level of a beast. Music!

The Kultura channel has a program called Enigma hosted by Irina Nikitina. The program is about music, yes. There Nikitina meets very famous composers, musicians, Russians and not so much, and speaks with them in their language – only for the initiated. But such revelations happen …

Nikitina came to New York to see the general practitioner Conchetta Tomaino. Music therapist. She heals the most difficult diseases that cannot be cured through music. Her patients are old people with Alzheimer’s, dementia, who have lost their memory and partly their mind. They were also paralyzed after a stroke, completely speechless. What is she doing with them! What does music do to them!

Here is a man, old, old. He can no longer walk, he only needs to be lifted to be transplanted into a wheelchair. And if he tries to get up, he immediately falls. But they turn on the music of his youth, all this blues, and he … dances! She really dances, and when she dances, she doesn’t fall.

Here is a numb man after a terrible attack. His wife comes to him, feeds him with a spoon. Concetta Tomaino feeds him with music. Not just music … She plays him songs in Yiddish, songs of his childhood. And the patient … spoke! This is true, not fiction. He lived another four years of a decent life.

And here is a boy, he is five years old. He doesn’t speak at all. He is silent, but understands everything. And only music, eternal music, helped him say the first word. Now he speaks incessantly.

This is how it happens. You just need to know very well, exactly what kind of music can affect an individual person, each of us. Because we are individuals, individuals, and the music that helps us should be addressed only to you. Here the doctor’s mistake is also very expensive, and if you find the wrong key, rhythm, action, then the music can kill.

That was such a transfer, magic. In America, there are only seven thousand music therapists throughout the country. These are very few, but they are there. We have … We have music too. Music-entertainment, music-mind, music-soul. But it seems that we have not yet matured to real treatment with music.