Ivan Golunov made a revolution: on TV, finally, they talked about Russia

In fact, Ivan Golunov revolutionized television. In the country – no, it hasn’t worked out yet, but on TV – yes. Thanks to his illegal detention, open indignation of the progressive public, house arrest, and then triumphant release with a clear conscience, our unforgettable TV for the first time in many years told us about Russia.

The power turned out to be smart, like its nightingales

Miraculously, Ukraine faded into the background, and Golunov appeared, Ivan Golunov in all his glory. And Russia in all its glory. That would always be so.

No, they had several options. The first is to say nothing at all. Silence like fish, sprats in a tomato, like scouts under interrogation in the camp of the enemy. “Keep quiet – you will get into the first.” And if this is not on TV, then it is not in life. In fact, there is no such Golunov, and there is no police lawlessness either. Great, of course, but the Internet, damn it. Silence in the Internet age is even worse than lying recklessly.

Then the second option is to speak. And they, our favorite reviewers, said. There were many new words. Nice words. Fiery words. Only when these words were lined up in sentences, phrases, it was impossible to make out absolutely nothing. This is probably what they wanted: to say that no one would understand anything at all. Well, something like the President of Ukraine Zelensky. The situation is senseless: it seems that federal TV is drowning for power with all the fibers of its immortal soul, and here the power is in front of everyone’s eyes … how to put it mildly, more intelligent … has whipped itself, or something.

We were waiting to see where the weather vane would turn up there. As a result, our Solovievs came up with an excuse, such is the Chinese language. It turns out that it was a conspiracy against Putin, no less. Yes, while he spoke triumphantly at the economic forum in St. Petersburg, some politically illiterate comrades framed him in full. Like this!

In some ways they are right: they set them up, yes. But not on purpose, it just happened. Tyap-blooper, drugs planted, acquaintances were called, photographs were bungled anywhere, at random, so they sewed the case with white thread for ten to twenty years. But what, the funeral mafia will not bomb, fanatic. Look how brave!

Poor TV propagandists did not know where to go, because they urgently needed to cover the power. And your butt too. In fact, everyone saw Golunov that this was not an accidental puncture of some kind – no, this is how the whole system works. Who is the author of the system? It’s even scary to think.

But this time the government turned out to be smart, like its nightingales. If you cannot close everyone, remove, – lead. She headed. And now the leading political observers have found themselves in the forefront of the fight against corruption, for morality and purity. A little more – and they would have entered the studio in those same T-shirts “I, we are Ivan Golunov.”

Kirill Vyshinsky.

The clever government played back, moved the arrows to the middle and lower levels of the security forces, immediately promised to identify them and put them in jail, and itself heroically acted as the supreme arbiter. Wise and just. The beauty!

And there is only one thing I can agree with our propagandists. They say: yes, well, by joint efforts they freed Ivan Golunov, justice has triumphed. But why didn’t they speak out for Kirill Vyshinsky, who has been in a Ukrainian prison for a year in the same way? And for Julian Assange, who is sitting in an English prison? Theirs support theirs. Recently, only TV men from the official federal media stood behind the same Vyshinsky at the Ukrainian embassy. And no one else.

And then, since such a booze has already begun, I throw these new slogans, memes into the crowd: I, we are Kirill Vyshinsky! I, we are Julian Assange! I, we are Yuri Dmitriev! He’s probably exactly the same “pedophile” as Golunov – “drug dealer”. I, we are “New Greatness”! I, we are Oleg Sentsov! Already forgotten, however.

Only now it is not necessary to divide into clean and unclean, into friends and foes. All ours, victims of the outrage. I think Ivan Golunov will agree with me.


It would seem that just football, entertainment is not for the faint of heart. Sit and watch, swallow validol and have fun. However…

I have prepared a second plan for you, a political one.

Photo: AP

So, I am sitting, watching the qualifying match of the European Championship Ukraine-Serbia. The city of Lviv – yes, the same, terrible, Bandera. An excellent stadium, lucky for Ukrainians. And besides, the cue ball is full, all the seats are occupied. In the stands, I noticed beautiful girls, women. I saw how they sang the Ukrainian anthem from the bottom of their hearts at the end of the match. I saw how the coach of the national team Andriy Shevchenko (or already Andriy?) Thanked the fans, bowed to them, bowed to them. What pain, what pain, Ukraine-Serbia 5: 0. The atmosphere is great! I saw all this – I did not see only the fascists, the Banderaites. But I was looking for them, so I wanted to find them, but I could not. They were not there. Because in the “terrible” city of Lviv there were people who sincerely worried about their Ukraine. Eh, it seems that less I need to watch these Kiselev-Sheinin-Norkins, then the Nazis will not dream.

Such is the political science of football. And that, in the days of advanced socialism, American “associate professors with candidates” assessed the internal policy of the USSR by the way the Politburo members were located on the Mausoleum on November 7, the red day of the calendar. Who is closer to Leonid Ilyich, who is further … They can, I can not?

But here’s another football picture – now ours, dear. Russia played against a very formidable opponent from San Marino and, most likely, won 9-0 out of fright. But it’s not about the score, but again about the audience. I listen to relatives of liberal political scientists. They say: a revolutionary situation is ripening in our country, the upper classes cannot, the lower classes no longer want. Storm, storm is coming soon!

Full stadium in the city of Saransk. I look at the stands again. Again I see beautiful girls, women, generally normal happy people. They came to the football of their national team, cheered as best they could and got theirs – victory! They are really happy. Well, what a revolution here. And in Nizhniy Novgorod, where our troops defeated the whole of Cyprus with great difficulty, it was the same.

No, everything can be, of course. Our people are so interesting: today they are calm as a tank, and tomorrow they will lock them in, so they will go to the storming of the Winter Palace. Nobody knows anything and cannot predict.

There is an Indian fairy tale “Four Blind”. These blind men are walking along the road, they meet an elephant. Who does the elephant look like? The first felt the trunk, said: on the hose, the second hugged a huge leg – on the column, the third took the tail – on the rope, the fourth patted the ear – on a huge burdock. Burdock, burdock, why are you silent? ..

Russia is the homeland of elephants. Like Ukraine. Therefore, my advice to you: never listen to political scientists, neither federal nor liberal. They are blind.